A good example of this season’s shoots is this. It’s pretty damn bad and campy, and I can’t help loving it a little bit because it’s just so campy and stupid. These pictures doubled as promo pictures, and I remember myself – along with everyone else – being seriously underwhelmed by them. They are cheap as hell. Basically, they had to play out their characters from their original season, though I never would have guessed it from the promos. Because quite a few of the characters are really vague, and most of these girls aren’t quite actresses, let’s just put it that way. Also, the background is lame in every single one of these pictures. But still, let’s get the one stunning picture out of the way with…

1) Bianca


Bianca was the biggest surprise for me this season. You may recall that she was the bane of my existence back in season 9, but here? Where the potential levels are almost comically low? She became like the saving grace for me. Bianca was 22 years old when this was taped, and had the look and body of a model. That’s a rarity in this season. I also like how she actually managed to get something pretty out of this lame shoot – the character she’s portraying is “loud & sassy” (though her actual character was more like bitchy and hateful), but she’s all “screw that, I’ll just look gorgeous instead”. And gorgeous she looks. First of all, body. Legs! I love her skin, and the silhouette is really, really great. Her hair looks good in spite of that stupid, red streak, and the face is just stunning. Again, great skin, beautiful, feline eyes, and great lips. A pretty stunning picture in spite of the stupid ass set.

2) Kayla


I’m really not a Kayla fan by any means, but she benefits from being young and pretty in this season. This is a really strong picture of her (Kayla has a history of beginning a season with a great picture), probably the best one she delivered on the show, and I feel like it represents her character on season 15 quite well. Granted, it’s a vague, and her “free”-thing got pretty damn grating after a while, but if I were a part of the LGBT community, I’d probably feel like this was a strong representation. The face is great – I love her strong jawline and cheekbones, and I actually don’t mind the squinting. The pose is strong, and I love how she’s raising her fist. Now, for things I don’t like… They’re really just nitpicking. I’ve never been a fan of Kayla’s body, and I don’t like how thick her shins look here, and I think her neck looks like it snapped. Her right hand looks a bit freaky as well, but really, this is a very strong picture of Kayla.

3) Angelea


Here’s another girl I was less than impressed to see back, but still ended up endearing me when she wasn’t acting like a psychopath. I love how campy this is – the pose is so drag queen and over the top, and I love it. The way the jacket hangs makes it virtually impossible for her to see her body, but I think both her legs and arms look really long and slender, and Angelea has one of the better bodies of the season, so I’m not too bothered. Love the finger wag. The face… I’ve never been a big fan of Angelea’s face, but I quite like what she’s doing here. Sure, she looks kind of cheap and a bit drag queen-ish, but it goes well with the pose and she’s actually pulling off the hair.

4) Allison


Everyone’s favorite dollface disappointed me a little bit this week. Sure, she looks gorgeous even though that piss-blonde hair with roots showing does absolutely nothing for her in this picture (I usually quite like it, though), but I don’t love the face as much as I could. Sure, her gigantic eyes look beautiful, but that pouty thing she’s doing is a little annoying even though it brings out her cheekbones – it looks kind of contrived to me. The rest is pretty good, though. I like the pose (her feet look super cute, weird as that sounds), she looks tall and the dress is super cute on her. I also like her skin, and she obviously has the best face of the season, but this isn’t the best it ever looked.

5) Shannon


Shannon was one of those girls that I didn’t really mind seeing back – she never bothered me on her original season, and she still looks good. I mean, look at her body in this. It’s great! I love her legs, her arms don’t look random at all and her stomach looks incredibly toned to me. Her face isn’t the best it’s been, though – Shannon’s skin always looked leathery, making her look older than she is, and she does look a bit older than her 24 years here. She also looks like a country singer, but that’s not exclusive to this picture. Anyway, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t look attractive here. I think she has a bad habit of baring her teeth which isn’t always attractive, but I love how she’s looking into the distance and the angle is great for her cheekbones. I like that we can see up her nose, and it isn’t unattractive.

6) Isis


This is one of the best pictures I’ve seen of Isis. Such a beautiful face. Isis is one of those girls I enjoyed seeing back, because ultimately Isis’ character was a positive one, rather than just another bitch. Anyway, I love the strength in this picture, and I don’t mind her getting the first call-out on the show in the slightest. She has obviously come a long way since she was first on the show. Great angle for her face, beautiful eyes and her skin looks great. I like her pose a lot too, she’s showing off her legs like nobody’s business, and the bikini looks great on her. What bothers me the most is the set and the horrid photoshop job. Sure, the effects suck in pretty much every picture, but it bothers me even more here because she’s interacting with the set. I can’t believe how fake it looks, and it detracts from the overall impression.

7) Sheena


What a body. I was super excited to see Sheena back, even though I wasn’t her biggest fan on her season. And she looks amazing here, seriously, what a body. Sure, not really that of a model (it bugs me how her upper arms appear a tiny bit saggy in the close-up), but for a recovering reality TV star? Damn amazing. The dress looks amazing on her – the necklaces look cheap (and like they don’t exist, but are photoshopped on? Why?), but the color is amazing on her. I love the silhouette, and how she’s teasing her hair. The only thing I don’t love is the face – it’s not bad (she hasn’t aged a day!), but the expression doesn’t do much for me.

8) Bre


Bre is, along with Dominique and Bianca, one of the only ones I actually think looks better now than on their original seasons. I mean, Bre was gorgeous on season 5, but she looked nothing short of breathtaking in season 17. I’m not sure this quite does her appearance justice – I think the expression she’s going for is attractive enough, and I like the pose, but there’s a few nitpickings I have that drag this down for me. First of all, the makeup is just terrible. It’s trampy, and the eye shadow throws me off and it distorts her face a little bit. And she has on probably the least attractive outfit of the entire week, I don’t know what’s going on here. I also don’t like how it looks like her hips are non-existent and the leggings make both her thighs and ass look kind of big. But luckily this is one of Bre’s only mediocre pictures this season.

9) Camille


Riddle me this, Batman – how does the oldest contestant also have one of the best bodies of the season? When the promo pictures were released, I wasn’t impressed by Camille – sure, her body was still as great as ever, but the dinosaur face irked me. This is an alternate from the same shoot, and I have to say that even though the face is still the worst part of it, it’s a lot better. First of all, her body is just insane. She’s 33, and looks a lot better than most. Love her legs, and I love that she’s rocking the suit thingy that season 16′s Hannah wore for her promo shoot even better. The face is a little on the dinosaur-Diana Ross side, I don’t really get why she looks so worried, but it’s still pretty good.

10) Dominique


If the general viewing public ever had a 180 turn about anyone on the show, it would be Dominique. No one was really impressed with having her back, but when she got there, not only was her attitude much better, but she looked better than she ever did in season 10. She was glowing most of the time, and it was awesome to see. This picture was one of my favorites at first, but the more I look at it, the less I like it. Sure, there’s something great going on in the close-up (those eyes!), it’s quite possibly the prettiest she ever looked in a picture, but her body positioning gets worse every time I look at it. Her hips look dislocated to me, which also makes her ass and thighs look gigantic. I also really hate how her right leg is pointing towards us – there’s some freaky contortionist thing going on there, and it’s not attractive to me.

11) Brittany (eliminated)


Okay, dramatic drop in quality… I don’t really have anything positive to say about this picture, but that doesn’t get it in the bottom 2 for me, because the rest are even worse. This is terrible. I love Brittany, and think she should have won season 4, but the years have not been good to her. She just looks overweight and flat out unappealing in this picture. Her body looks terrible – the pose just isn’t flattering, her legs look short and chunky, her fingers look… Well, short and chunky as well, and her right arm looks stiff and, well, chunky. She looks bigger than she is too, because of how she’s leaning over – the dress doesn’t show off her curves at all, so she just looks kind of fat. The face is unattractive as well, with the eyes that are halfway between a squint and a wink, and the almost pug-like expression. It’s not flattering to smile that wide. The hair doesn’t work for me either. This looks like Fran Drescher in the mid-Nineties if she were an ugly woman. But at least there’s some kind of sincerity here, unlike

12) Lisa


Even I am having a hard time understanding how a picture this bad isn’t in my bottom 2. Lisa is another one I loved on her original season – she is, along with Allison, the only one who’s still on my intermission list, and we’ve had a good 12 seasons worth of models since then. But dear God, this picture is almost repulsive-looking to me. Lisa has a hard life and everything, and it’s not like I found her all-stars persona to be unsympathetic, but I really hated that she went so over the top in every single picture, beginning with this one, because with her age and haggard-ness, she just crosses into ooglay-territory way too easily. THIS IS NOT A FLATTERING POSE. The legs may work on someone with much, much smaller thighs, but here it only seems to highlight them, and I really don’t like what she’s doing with her arms. Check out her shoulders in the close-up, it looks like those of a freaking bodybuilder. Top that off with a non-existent stomach and a freaky, childlike smile and you have what amounts to one hell of an unflattering picture. But, uh… At least she has nice teeth? I don’t know, I’m really struggling to find something positive here.

13) Laura


Okay, so when I covered ANTM 16 I caught a little bit of flak for being kind of anti-Brittani. Dissing fan favorites isn’t always a good idea. So if you’re a big fan of Laura, you might as well warm up the fireplace and start flaming, because I will be ranting quite a bit about this one. You may remember that Laura never really offended me on ANTM 13 – I think her being in the final 2 was ridiculous, and I was never a fan of her look (she was one of the most plain girls of her season), but her pictures were nice and it’s not like the other shorties looked that much better in comparison. This season, however, may be plagues with 26- to 33-year-olds, but at least they’re tall! But I digress. This picture is horrible. You don’t pose like that when you have short legs and thunder thighs, and you don’t give that expression ever because your face might freeze like that, and no one would want to look like that forever, okay? I wish I could tell you that this is Laura’s worst picture this season, but you ain’t seen nothing yet. We haven’t even started.

14) Alexandria


I’d definitely eliminate Laura over Alexandria, but I still can’t help but rank this last because it’s just ugly. The editing bothers me a LOT in the same way it did in Isis’ picture (I believe she was edited to be on a motorcycle in the fadeout picture, and you know what? It still looked stupid as you’d think) – I just don’t get what would possess her to pose like this. It shortens her, makes her legs look chunky, and why is she hunched over like that? And what is she doing with her arms?And what’s with the expression? I never really noticed her resemblance to Cameron Diaz until late in the game in season 16, but here she doesn’t just look like her – she looks like her plus 5 years and a whole lot of botox, and it’s not like Cameron Diaz is that fresh faced to begin with. Fortunately, however, this *is* Alexandria’s worst picture this season.

AVERAGES
1. Bianca (1.0) 1
2. Kayla (2.0) 2
3. Angelea (3.0) 3
4. Allison (4.0) 4
5. Shannon (5.0) 5
6. Isis (6.0) 6
7. Sheena (7.0) 7
8. Bre (8.0) 8
9. Camille (9.0) 9
10. Dominique (10.0) 10
11. Brittany (11.0) 11 – Eliminated week 1
12. Lisa (12.0) 12
13. Laura (13.0) 13
14. Alexandria (14.0) 14

ELIMINATIONS
Alexandria: 1
Allison: 0
Angelea: 0
Bianca: 0
Bre: 0
Brittany: 0
Camille: 0
Dominique: 0
Isis: 0
Kayla: 0
Laura: 0
Lisa: 0
Shannon: 0
Sheena: 0

1) Edwina Joseph (2.5)

2) Sarah Butler (2.5)

3) Louise Watts (2.7)

4) Lucy Bennett (2.8)

5) Georgina Edewor-Thorley (3.1)

6) Anne Kent (3.3)

7) Abigail Clancy (3.5)

8) Natalie Nwagbo (3.5)

9) Naomi Teal (3.6)

10) Rebecca White (3.6)

11) Sherece Campbell (3.9)

12) Jenilee Harris (4.1)

13) Lauren McAvoy (4.2)

14) Lucy Ratcliffe (4.3)

15) Lucy Flower (4.3)

16) Amber Niemann (4.3)

17) Marisa Heath (4.8)

18) Tashi Brown (4.8)

19) Asha Hibbert (5.3)

20) Lianna Fowler (5.4)

21) Carly Thompson (5.5)

22) Stephanie Jones (5.6)

23) Nina Malone (6.0)

24) Sophia Price (6.6)

25) Stefanie Webber (6.6)

26) Jasmia Robinson (6.6)

27) Shauna Breen (6.7)

28) Dani Lawrence (7.0)

29) Krystal Hancock (7.5)

30) Samantha Gerrard (7.7)

31) Tamar Higgs (7.7)

32) Hayley Wilkins (8.0)

33) Holly Alexander (8.6)

34) Yvette Stubbs (10.0)

35) Abigail Galatia (10.3)

36) Claire Hillier (10.5)

37) Marina Fallahi (12.0)

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1) Louise (2.7) 4/6/2/7/1/1/2/3/1/1/2

Yeah, no doubt about it – this is the third time running we see a robbed runner-up on BNTM. And, I might just add, it isn’t the last time (/foreshadowing). Louise probably could have used a year or so of confidence building before going on a televised modeling shot, because she did appear to be incredibly self-aware of her body, and I feel like it held her back a few times – I guess she could have done with some working out as well, because she did look kind of untoned at times. Not because she was a plussie, but plus-size doesn’t mean fat, you still have to be in shape, you know? Definitely not trying to say that plus-sized models aren’t every bit as hot as tiny ones. But I’m digressing – what landed Louise on top of my call-outs so often (4 times out of 11, that is) wasn’t her body, it was that face. Fucking. Flawless. Every single picture (barring that horrendous tube shot. Oh, and that horrendous housewife shot) of her face was pretty close to perfection, and definitely what made her the biggest stand-out (pun acknowledged) in the cast. She’s not my winner, I’m fine with her taking second place, and I’m definitely looking forward to seeing her back in ANTM 18.

2) Lucy (2.8) 1/4/5/1/3/5/1/2

Louise shouldn’t have won – this one should. Yes, I realize that Lucy is an incomplete package – we didn’t have any Sarah Butlers or Edwina Josephs or even Lucy Ratcliffes in this season, who can both walk, take a good picture and have an extensive knowledge of the fashion industry, strong look and body to boot. But here, I’m settling for 3 out of 5 – Lucy had a pretty good walk, an amazing body and photogenia coming out her ass, this mediocre promo picture notwithstanding. I did like her look as well, but I do realize that she does look like an actress (a very specific actress, at that), and she never really showed any great passion for modeling or the fashion industry – but really, that doesn’t keep me from handing the win to someone. It’s not like the 16-year-old models fresh off the boat from Russia know much about the fashion industry either. Anyway, Lucy delivered several of the strongest pictures of the season and only delivered one picture I didn’t really like, and she should have won.

3) Natalie (3.5) 5/2/3/4

Natalie is the third and final girl I would have accepted as a strong winner this season, and I actually find her really underrated. I disliked only one of her pictures, and considering the low quality of the housewives shoot, it’s not like it was a trainwreck or anything. I think she was really beautiful in person, and she had my pick for the best body of the season (Lauren being a close second). She was one of the few to get something decent out that damn tube shoot, and her snow queen and calendar pictures are both really good. She goes all the way to the top 3 for me.

4) Rebecca (3.6) 3/3/4/6/5/3/5/1/3/3

I was really surprised to find that Rebecca was the youngest of the top 3 (Louise and Lauren were both 20, Rebecca was 19), because she looked 24 most of the time to me. Rebecca was a decent model, but she never really stood out to me – there was nothing interesting about her look. She just looked like a pretty hot girl to me. Also, tacky tattoo is tacky. But she was definitely skilled, her pictures were consistently strong – the only one of hers that I actively disliked was her housewife and that tacky car picture. She did have a pretty good body though, even if she needed to tone up her stomach – she had great legs. Anyway, other than in her pictures she really didn’t do much for me. She leaves at the top 4 for me.

5) Sherece (3.9) 2/5/6/3/4/4/3

Another talented model, who really wasn’t a model. I liked Sherece a lot – she was really pretty, took good pictures and her body was pretty good, if memory serves me correctly – but she only goes to the top 5 for me. I prefer her to Rebecca in many ways (I prefer Sherece’s look, and their pictures are pretty much on par), but I guess Rebecca has a bit more potential and delivered a great shot in the top 5. Anyway, this one went to sixth place, so I guess it’s a bit extreme to say that she was robbed – I would definitely have taken her further than both Lauren and Stefanie, but it was no great loss. Sherece’s pictures were consistently… Pretty. She was never bad, but I don’t really love any of her pictures other than her calendar one either. And that’s enough to take you far in a season as weak as this one.

6) Lauren (4.2) 9/1/7/8/6/2/4/4/2/2/1

First things first: Props to Lauren for looking like Gisele Bündchen from this angle. Didn’t see that coming. I didn’t really mind Lauren as much as I thought I would – I thought I would hate her not unlike Lianna from last season, but really, she was more filler than anything. Never offensively bad (other than that one time), yet only rarely rose above “pretty good”. I even gave her a first call-out in week 2, but even there, it was still just… Decent. Sure, she had a great body, and her face did look good on occasion, but I just don’t think she was a photogenic girl. More often than not, she just looked harsh and kind of mannish in pictures. She did improve though, I think her last two pictures were both really soft and pretty, but for me, that’s just too little too late. They could have picked much worse (such as the parade of losers coming up), but she shouldn’t have won.

7) Carly (5.5) 8/7/1/2/8/7

Carly’s personality was nothing short of rancid. She was such a chore to watch, that it’s really hard for me to write anything positive about her, but I actually have a few points to make about her. First of all, other than Louise, I actually think Carly had the most interesting look of the season. She reminded me of a busted Samantha Francis at times, when she kept her mouth shut. Because when she opened it… Oy. Rarely have I seen that busted teeth on an NTM contestant. I know they don’t have the budget of ANTM in Britain, but dear God, couldn’t they have fixed her teeth? Anyway, about her pictures. They were pretty bad. I liked her snow queen and housewife pictures, but other than that I really didn’t care for them at all. That said though, out of the bottom tier this season, 2 good pictures and a decent look can get you far. She goes to where she did on the show for me, 7th place.

8) Stefanie (6.6) 12/10/9/5/2/6/6/5/4

HOW DID THIS GIRL GET TO FOURTH PLACE? She’s one of the least talented girls I’ve seen in BNTM so far. She delivered one picture, out of nine mind you, that I liked. And you couldn’t see her face in that one. Also, she looked plain and old (would you believe, from this picture, that she was 20 at the time of filming?). Her body was off as well, she just appeared to gain weight consistently throughout the competition. She should have been eliminated for that clueless-looking picture in week one.

9) Dani (7.0) 7

Speaking of being eliminated in week one, Dani was robbed. I actually really like her, a lot more than the rest we have to plow through anyway. Sure, her first picture wasn’t great, but I saw some potential in her. Sure, she tends to look the same in every picture and didn’t have the most exciting look, but she’s pretty and had a really good body. She should have gone to the nude shoot.

10) Krystal (7.5) 6/9

What an unattractive picture. Sigh. Krystal wasn’t a particularly good model, but I still think she was eliminated a bit earlier than she should have been. Sure, her second picture was ass, and she wasn’t particularly attractive, but I take her a few weeks longer only because her first picture was fairly strong. For me, she goes to housewives week.

11) Holly (8.6) 11/8/8/9/7

I have so little to say about this girl, she really didn’t do anything for me in the slightest. Her pictures never offended me, but dear God she was just so boring. Not one of her pictures were good, her look wasn’t special, her body was blah, and oh God I can’t even crank out a decent paragraph on her. Well, I guess I got something out of her in her final week, where I felt sincerely bad for her. She wasn’t comfortable doing the very cheap-looking nude shoot, and I really understood her – but still, the poor girl should have been eliminated in week 3 for her third bland picture in a row.

12) Abigail (10.3) 10/11/10

Another bland girl who was way out of her element. Abigail seemed sweet, definitely one of the more normal girls in a cast filled with sociopaths, but she wasn’t much of a model. I eliminate her for that ugly tube shoot she delivered.

1) Lauren (winner)

Ultimately, Lauren’s body wins this round. I was completely in love with her look when she walked down with that first outfit (the shorts), and her face actually looked much better than it usually did. I guess she’s kind of Clark-like in how her body makes her essentially runway-ready without being a great model. It was probably the best performance she ever gave on the show.

2) Louise (runner-up)

… Not that Louise didn’t look great, though. Of course her face rocked, I really loved her expression, but she did have small, small traces of that kind of linebacker-walk that’s universally resented – especially in the last walk, where her shoulders hunched just a little bit.

AVERAGES
1. Louise (2.7) 4/6/2/7/1/1/2/3/1/1/2 – Runner-up
2. Lucy (2.8) 1/4/5/1/3/5/1/2 – Eliminated week 8
3. Natalie (3.5) 5/2/3/4 – Eliminated week 4
4. Rebecca (3.6) 3/3/4/6/5/3/5/1/3/3 – Eliminated week 10
5. Sherece (3.9) 2/5/6/3/4/4/3 – Eliminated week 7
6. Lauren (4.2) 9/1/7/8/6/2/4/4/2/2/1 – Winner
7. Carly (5.5) 8/7/1/2/8/7 – Eliminated week 6
8. Stefanie (6.6) 12/10/9/5/2/6/6/5/4 – Eliminated week 9
9. Dani (7.0) 7 – Eliminated week 1
10. Krystal (7.5) 6/9 – Eliminated week 2
11. Holly (8.6) 11/8/8/9/7 – Eliminated week 5
12. Abigail (10.3) 10/11/10 – Eliminated week 3

ELIMINATIONS
Abigail: 2
Carly: 2
Dani: 0
Holly: 1
Krystal: 0
Lauren: 0
Louise: 1
Lucy: 0
Natalie: 0
Rebecca: 1
Sherece: 0
Stefanie: 4

1) Louise

If I’ve learned one thing covering this season, it’s that pictures of Louise’s face equal instant win. And, as usual, Louise’s flawless face dominates this picture and is what makes it strong. Also, hot guy. It’s not particularly interesting or great, but it fills the brief for me. Even though she’s looking rather pissy and isn’t really interacting the guy, I still think there’s something there – I love how he’s looking at her, and how she’s leaning back into him. Also, green is really her color (love how it matches her eyes!) , and her skin looks almost as amazing as her cheekbones. Other than a bit of tension in the neck, I don’t really have that many negatives here.

2) Lauren

Hey look, Lauren finishes off with one of her best shots! This is actually really pretty, and quite possibly the prettiest Lauren ever looked. Definitely the most feminine, I actually buy this as a swimsuit ad. The close-up is really gorgeous. Soft, pretty, I like that she’s smizing without being lame about it. Lauren will never have a model’s face, but at least here, she’s really pretty. And her body… I don’t even feel like I need to talk about Lauren’s body more than I already have done, the girl is obviously an amazon. I don’t think this is the best shot of her body I’ve seen, for some reason her arm bothers me a little bit, but it’s still strong. Actually, my only actual problem is that her male model is kind of unattractive (seriously, you call that a beard?).

3) Rebecca (eliminated)

I like Rebecca, but ultimately I’m okay with her being eliminated here… She looked old. But that’s not why I’m ranking this last – I’m ranking this last because Rebecca is the only one who gets outshone by the guy in her picture. My eyes go to him, even though she’s the one looking at the camera. Which is a shame, because Rebecca looks good – a bit on the plain side, but she looks good. I think the smile is a bit forced because her eyes look so sad, but I like how long her neck looks, and her skin looks great (as always), but ultimately she’s not the best part about this picture.

AVERAGES
1. Louise (2.8) 4/6/2/7/1/1/2/3/1/1
2. Lucy (2.8) 1/4/5/1/3/5/1/2 – Eliminated week 8
3. Natalie (3.5) 5/2/3/4 – Eliminated week 4
4. Rebecca (3.6) 3/3/4/6/5/3/5/1/3/3 – Eliminated week 10
5. Sherece (3.9) 2/5/6/3/4/4/3 – Eliminated week 7
6. Lauren (4.5) 9/1/7/8/6/2/4/4/2/2
7. Carly (5.5) 8/7/1/2/8/7 – Eliminated week 6
8. Stefanie (6.6) 12/10/9/5/2/6/6/5/4 – Eliminated week 9
9. Dani (7.0) 7 – Eliminated week 1
10. Krystal (7.5) 6/9 – Eliminated week 2
11. Holly (8.6) 11/8/8/9/7 – Eliminated week 5
12. Abigail (10.3) 10/11/10 – Eliminated week 3

ELIMINATIONS
Abigail: 2
Carly: 2
Dani: 0
Holly: 1
Krystal: 0
Lauren: 0
Louise: 0
Lucy: 0
Natalie: 0
Rebecca: 1
Sherece: 0
Stefanie: 4

1) Louise


Pretty far from Louise’s best shot ever, but it’s definitely the most attractive picture this week. By quite a large margin, too. First off all, she has the best set. Sure, she’s standing in front of a huge horse, and it’s kind of weird, but I like how she’s actually interacting with it, which makes the whole thing look a lot less random than it is. It looks like she’s holding the beastly horse down. Not feeling the pose, though – again, I like how it kind of looks like she’s doing that to control the horse, but I don’t like how she’s leaning back, and I think both of her arms look really short. I don’t think the dress is very flattering for her body. Her face, however? Flawless. That is one thing that Louise just gets right every single time, her face is just flawless, and I think it’s the best her face has looked since her maternity picture. The headdress even looks pretty good on her.

2) Lauren


Seriously, let’s just take a moment to stare at Lauren’s legs. This is probably the first time I’ve bought Lauren as a model, even if it’s still a lackluster picture – she may have a great body, but her tan and harsh face tend to turn me off and remind me of Nicole from ANTM 1, but here I see something else entirely. She still has that tan that bothers the living shit out of me, and her face could still be better, but that body is just undeniable. I don’t mind how she’s kind of hunching over, and dear God, legs legs legs. Unbelievable. Amazing boobs too, and I love how tall she looks. The setup is still stupid though, and the backdrop bothers me a lot. It just looks too cheap for me to like.

3) Rebecca


This picture isn’t exactly bad, but – much like her car shot – there’s just nothing going on. She has a set that could have actually looked interesting if she interacted with it (unlike Lauren’s, whose set sucks no matter what way you look at it), but by just standing around she’s allowing herself to get lost in it. She’s wearing a huge warbonnet, yet Rebecca still isn’t the first thing I notice in this picture. But other than that, it’s decent. Her skin looks lovely, and I actually quite like her expression. She also managed to look tall, but the picture just bores me to death.

4) Stefanie (eliminated)


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What’s going on here? I guess I shouldn’t be laughing, because she looks like something straight out of The Exorcist, but this is comically bad. Her mouth makes her look like a ventriloquist doll, and her eyes in turn make her look like a ventriloquist doll FROM HELL. Add in a particularly demonic-looking headdress, and you’ve got what should be scary, but somehow manages to cross scary and set up camp in hilarious. It may just stem from my relief that this girl was finally eliminated because, needless to say, it was overdue. Way overdue.

AVERAGES
1. Lucy (2.8) 1/4/5/1/3/5/1/2 – Eliminated week 8
2. Louise (3.0) 4/6/2/7/1/1/2/3/1
3. Natalie (3.5) 5/2/3/4 – Eliminated week 4
4. Rebecca (3.7) 3/3/4/6/5/3/5/1/3
5. Sherece (3.9) 2/5/6/3/4/4/3 – Eliminated week 7
6. Lauren (4.8) 9/1/7/8/6/2/4/4/2
7. Carly (5.5) 8/7/1/2/8/7 – Eliminated week 6
8. Stefanie (6.6) 12/10/9/5/2/6/6/5/4 – Eliminated week 9
9. Dani (7.0) 7 – Eliminated week 1
10. Krystal (7.5) 6/9 – Eliminated week 2
11. Holly (8.6) 11/8/8/9/7 – Eliminated week 5
12. Abigail (10.3) 10/11/10 – Eliminated week 3

ELIMINATIONS
Abigail: 2
Carly: 2
Dani: 0
Holly: 1
Krystal: 0
Lauren: 0
Louise: 0
Lucy: 0
Natalie: 0
Rebeca: 0
Sherece: 0
Stefanie: 4

1) Rebecca

This is definitely one of the better NTM underwater shots I can think of. Sure, it’s not April, Sara Racey or even Norway’s Christina, but it’s pretty great. First of all, I love how it only barely looks like she’s under water. Also, Rebecca’s body is back in full effect here. I am completely in love with how freakishly long all of her limbs look, and the clothes – while not really good looking or anything – actually look really cool on her. You really shouldn’t be able to make orange leggings, tulle skirt and Alasia’s bathing suit (gold edition) look good, but somehow Rebecca made it. Actually, Rebecca has the worst outfit of the week by far. Also, long hair looks really good on her, this is probably the best Rebecca ever looked in a picture.

2) Lucy (eliminated)

Infuriating elimination. Much like Holly’s a couple of weeks ago, watching Lucy struggle with a shoot she didn’t do just felt uncomfortable doing. Unlike Holly though, the final product turned out pretty good. Mostly because of Lucy’s superior modeling skills, but it may also have to do with this not feeling like exploitation. Anyway, I’m actually feeling this. Sure, when you know how hard a time she had on the shoot, I guess the face could be a problem – but really, I don’t think it’s all that bad. There’s some annoying tension around the mouth, and I’d really love her eyes to be open, but I like her skin, and I love that she’s facing the camera – the only one of the week to do so. But what propels this into the top 2 is her body, which is nothing short of great. Lucy’s body is incredible, all of her limbs look SO long and graceful, and she looks tall in spite of being under water. Sure, it’s not flawless – what underwater picture is, really? – but it’s a strong picture, and definitely shouldn’t have gotten Lucy eliminated.

3) Louise
Louise is the only one whose outfit makes perfect sense this week. Not that it’s attractive or anything, because yellow dress + yellow leggings = sad time, but at least there isn’t any offensive clash of color here. Anyway, the pose here is awesome in theory. Sure, it’s kind of a mess – she’s missing an arm along with most of her legs, but I like how it’s taking up the page, and the dress looks pretty awesome. Also, face. And neck. Love how her hair is swirling around her. Not the best picture by any means, but she’s going for something right.

4) Lauren

This isn’t even that bad, considering how this is an underwater shoot and all. It just doesn’t quite hold up next to the others. I notice what Lauren isn’t doing rather than what she is doing – namely, keeping her entire body in check. I have a hard time seeing what’s going on in this picture. I don’t like how her head is all up in the camera, while her legs appear to be completely disjointed from the rest of her body, which in turn appears to not exist. Seriously, where is  her stomach and her neck? I wish she’d angled her body just a little bit, because as it is it just looks confused to me. She gets bonus points for actually keeping her eyes open, though.

5) Stefanie

I find myself asking questions I’ve asked for a long time. The biggest one being, why on Earth wasn’t Stefanie eliminated in week one? She’s just not a good model. Everything here is completely and utterly out of control. More than anything, it reminds me of Kesse’s Reebok picture from ANTM 1, a picture which is pretty much universally scorned for looking like she has no control over her limbs, and that’s what bothers me here. Her arms don’t look graceful in the slightest, and the one leg that doesn’t look amputated looks kind of fat. And her midsection just looks like a box. Body-wise, it’s easily the worst of the week, even compared to Lauren’s where we can barely even see her body. The face is just eh… She doesn’t look like herself, which is good I guess, but I don’t like how she pushed forward her jaw, and the angle is off. It looks a bit like she was caught while headbanging, which isn’t really something you’d want to look like.

AVERAGES
1. Lucy (2.8) 1/4/5/1/3/5/1/2 – Eliminated week 8
2. Louise (3.3) 4/6/2/7/1/1/2/3
3. Natalie (3.5) 5/2/3/4 – Eliminated week 4
4. Rebecca (3.8) 3/3/4/6/5/3/5/1
5. Sherece (3.9) 2/5/6/3/4/4/3 – Eliminated week 7
6. Lauren (5.1) 9/1/7/8/6/2/4/4
7. Carly (5.5) 8/7/1/2/8/7 – Eliminated week 6
8. Stefanie (6.9) 12/10/9/5/2/6/6/5
9. Dani (7.0) 7 – Eliminated week 1
10. Krystal (7.5) 6/9 – Eliminated week 2
11. Holly (8.6) 11/8/8/9/7 – Eliminated week 5
12. Abigail (10.3) 10/11/10 – Eliminated week 3

ELIMINATIONS
Abigail: 2
Carly: 2
Dani: 0
Holly: 1
Krystal: 0
Lauren: 0
Louise: 0
Lucy: 0
Natalie: 0
Rebeca: 0
Sherece: 0
Stefanie: 3

1) Lucy

Watching Lucy on set was nothing short of orgasmic – and, as always, she was called way too low for her performance. Which I follow in the sense that this picture isn’t good, at all, but I don’t see why you would call any other picture first this week. I feel like this fills the brief perfectly. First of all – the “main picture” (as in, the only one that isn’t see-through, on top of the car) is great – in character, she’s got her entire body in check, it’s perfect for this shoot basically. I think she shows great versatility in all of them (I actually really like the one where she’s jumping, which is rare for me. Great dynamic between them. If the photography and editing had been just a little better, I’d definitely consider this a really good picture.

2) Louise

This is cool mainly because it’s so aggressive. The picture in front of the car definitely hits you, even if you have to stop and notice the extremely stubby legs, and I quite like how warrior-like the one on top of the car looks. I like the one where she’s sitting down as well, but I don’t care for the last two. I feel like the one in the top left corner would be amazing if we could actually see what is going on with her body, but it’s too far away and the colors blend together, which just makes it look messy to me. Overall a strong picture, in the context of this shoot, it’s really strong. Don’t mind her getting a first call-out.

3) Sherece (eliminated)

I wouldn’t mind eliminating like half the girls for this ugly shoot, but I probably wouldn’t have offed Sherece. The first thing I notice here is her amazing legs – especially the one where she’s lying on top of the car looks really, really great. Never noticed she had legs like that before! It is a bit canceled out by the one one in front of the car where she’s leaning back, where her legs look really stubby. But overall, I kind of like it for this week. The one on top of the car is really sexy, and I like how she’s interacting with the car in pretty much every shot. Just hate that we can’t see her face in any of them.

4) Lauren

Okay, bonus points for actually giving Lauren heavy make-up that looks cool, rather than drag, on her. This is actually a really great look for her. I really like the one in the front, where her amazing legs are in full effect. Really, so hot. I quite like the one on the side of the car as well, I think the expression she’s going for is just great. But the rest of them… Don’t care for them. The pose she’s going for on top of the car is pretty cool, and it would definitely look great if that was the only picture of her, but as it is it just looks confusing to me. Especially since I really don’t like the one in the top left corner, where she looks kind of stupid.

5) Rebecca

It’s not that I think any of these pictures are offensively bad on their own. They just don’t come together well – none of them are interesting, and I feel like Rebecca is looking rather confused in each one of them. I don’t really care for the one where she’s standing on top of the car, ‘i think she looks unsure of herself, and her usually great body looks rather bland to me. Why does her legs look so short? The one in front of the car is also just bland-looking to me, and the other ones… I can’t even see what’s going on. Dear God, this week is just horrible.

6) Stefanie

Prepare for Stefanie to receive a lot of low, low callouts from me from here on out while better models get eliminated. With Carly gone and Lauren rarely being offensively bad, the remaining models are just light years ahead of her. What bothers me the most about this is the one where she’s standing in front of the car – it’s just an unflattering picture. No model should stand like that when taking a picture, and you definitely shouldn’t when you’re not a model like our little Stefanie here. All of her limbs look short and kind of chubby, and the outfit just looks so damn unflattering to me. The pose where she’s leaning back on top of the car is unflattering and confusing, the other one on top is unflattering and makes her look like a big square, the one on the side of the car is unflattering and makes her ass look huge… You get the pattern here, right? This girl cannot model.

AVERAGES
1. Lucy (2.9) 1/4/5/1/3/5/1
2. Louise (3.3) 4/6/2/7/1/1/2
3. Natalie (3.5) 5/2/3/4 – Eliminated week 4
4. Sherece (3.9) 2/5/6/3/4/4/3 – Eliminated week 7
5. Rebecca (4.1) 3/3/4/6/5/3/5
6. Lauren (5.3) 9/1/7/8/6/2/4
7. Carly (5.5) 8/7/1/2/8/7 – Eliminated week 6
8. Dani (7.0) 7 – Eliminated week 1
9. Stefanie (7.1) 12/10/9/5/2/6/6
10. Krystal (7.5) 6/9 – Eliminated week 2
11. Holly (8.6) 11/8/8/9/7 – Eliminated week 5
12. Abigail (10.3) 10/11/10 – Eliminated week 3

ELIMINATIONS
Abigail: 2
Carly: 2
Dani: 0
Holly: 1
Krystal: 0
Lauren: 0
Louise: 0
Lucy: 0
Natalie: 0
Rebeca: 0
Sherece: 0
Stefanie: 2